Tuesday, April 12, 2011

We don't have much time

I am feeling like the walking dead. On crutches.

My bone pain has subsided, but now the joint pains are starting... for you ladies that have had babies, the best way I can describe this feeling is - when you are about a month or so before you are due, and you feel your hip joints loosen and not be very tight, remember that feeling? That is how my hips feel right now, and my knees. Not very steady on my feet.

In fact, I literally fell head over heels down the stairs earlier today.

But I will get to that in a little while.

First I feel like I must write today, instead of tomorrow or the next day, as I had originally planned, because I found out today we are running out of time.

This morning a well dressed gentleman came to my door (which I answered, and I promise I won't do again Margie) and he let me know that the world is ending in exactly 39 days. May 21, 2011 to be exact.

He was very credible, he had his own fliers he had printed out crookedly. My first thought was 'shit, now I can't even finish chemo' - what a bummer. I was gonna take a flier, but then I remembered the dooming date and got very busy all of a sudden. There's so much to do that I've been putting off.

I told the gentleman I had to go live in fastforward for the next month so I had to go, he gave me a sad look. I think I am not on his list of people he thinks will be saved with him.

But think of all the things I've neglected, like blogging for example. How foolish had I been, assuming there was always tomorrow and I could just take today to concentrate on healing and getting better. Well no more. Here is the post people. Take advantage, but don't take too long reading it. In fact, perhaps just skimming through it may be better... I bet you'll have to hurry now too.

We're all in this together.

Oh, and the stairs thing? Turns out I fainted while I was bending over at the top of the stairs, to pick up a dog toy to throw to our dog. I don't really remember much, which is good I guess. I know I called 911 and I know I slept for about 5 hours straight after that. Seems my bloodpressure was probably a bit too low this morning (they say i should EAT in the morning first... sigh, all these rules) and combined with all my chemo meds, it was too much for my body)

Tonight, Brad and I were gonna watch a movie (Can anyone believe he hasn't seen "My best friend's wedding?" - he's gonna so love it that I posted that on here), but now after pondering the days' events, we may reconsider.

There are probably better things we could do with our next 38 days.

Like go to Home Depot and buy a bigger lock to keep out the nutbars.



Mary xo said...

Michelle, I am cracking up--love the funny post. Hope you weren't hurt going down those stairs, yikes. I didn't even think about the low blood pressure thing. I will have to be careful as I have stairs in my house too. Hey, if there are only 38 days to live, I'm skipping chemo and taking a plane to Hawaii. Aloha!

VV said...

My goodness, is the end of the world here already? Things like that have a way of sneaking up on you. Guess I better start dusting my furniture and putting my house in order. If we're all about to meet our Maker, I want to make sure I have a front row seat for when my sister, P confronts God. As she likes to say, "I have a bone to pick with him." She's had a horribly hard, tragic life. A lot of cruel twists of fate on her life line. She's the poster child for when bad things happen to good people. That said, about your pains. I remember the hips issue with child birth, but I don't have to go that far back, for even as I sit here typing, once I get up, I will be hobbling for awhile as I work the kinks out. I had a diagnosis of fibromyalgia from a doctor a couple of years back, but I refuse to accept his diagnosis. So I have incredibly stiff and painful muscle aches all over my body. If I sit or stand for too long, I can barely walk until things loosen up again. Some days it feels like someone beat the hell out of me while I slept. It's not arthritis because it's not joints, it's deep muscle pain. I try to just suck it up and live an active life anyway. It hurts daily, but as long as I keep moving, whether up or down, and don't stay static for too long, it's bearable. I've fallen before too when my muscles tightened really fast on me.

Sayre said...

Honey.... the better locks only work if you don't open them. It's the only way to keep the nutbars out. I've got one that wants to mow my lawn all the time. Sunday morning, 8am, he's banging on the door and ringing the doorbell. I ignore him now. I notice it happens less and less - perhaps he's finally realized that I meant it when I said I wanted to mow my OWN lawn.

As for the end of the world - don't hold your breath. Do what you need to do, whether it's sitting still and healing or running that marathon you always wanted to do. The end of the world is a very individual thing and always has been - and it happens at different times for everyone. There is no set date. When it comes, it comes and your only responsibility there is to have lived the best, fullest life you could have, with as much love and laughter crammed in there as you can manage.

That said, don't let yours come at the staircase. That would be such a bummer. Eat first.

nbrsspot.blogspot.com said...

HEY I thought the end of the world was supposed to be in 2012 not in 38 days. This dude has his years crossed or what??LOL.. Yes eat and then try bending over to pick up the dogs toy..Not the other way around my friend.. We all worry about you..

Knock knock - it's cancer! said...

I am on here just to let all you know that it is 7:44am and I am eating breakfast. Well, not exactly eating, but at least I am seriously contemplating it. So there!

Eat in the morning - check.

Kathy said...

Good for you eating breakfast early today! ;)

You are too funny, you totally scared me at the beginning of your post until I saw where you were going with it... I guess you "got me" with a belated April Fool's joke.

I am sorry that you are in so much pain and discomfort. That also sucks that you fainted and fell down the stairs on top of everything else you are dealing with (pun sort of intended). Hang in there. Sending lots of prayers for healing and strength (and your continued sense of humor during times like this).

Mandi - www.DarnGoodLemonade.com said...

Hilarious (about the end of the world, not the crutches...). I actually have used the cancer card with random people showing up on my doorstep (horrible I know, but it works when you tell them you are supposed to be avoiding people and germs whether or not it is the whole truth).

I found out about the blood pressure when I visited the doctor the other day (mine was pretty low and I was surprised). Funny that they don't warn you about that one?

Anonymous said...

Nutbar--love it! So sorry about your mishap. Gotta go get my affairs in order, since the world is ending and all.

Unknown said...

Ouch! Be careful on and around those stairs. Had to laugh about the world ending - this topic was a discussion at work the other day. Apparently, there's a group traveling around and spreading the word - guess they found your neighborhood.

nbrsspot.blogspot.com said...

sorry to be such a worry wort but you scared us by telling us you fell my friend.. its only 1:37 AM and I should be at work but got sent home because the machine I work on wasnt running tonight and the one lady that usually runs it is on light duty because she sprained her back.. Yuckie.. So as being the temp I am I got sent home.

Unknown said...

Hi Michelle
Re the low blood sugar thing. When you're getting up, sit first, make sure everything doesn't go white, then stand..maybe put your hand on a chair or the wall, make sure everything doesn't go white. If you start out on the floor, same thing, start by sitting..etc. Eating in the morning is good though..if you can't take food..how about tea/water with honey?

Also...thanks for keeping your nutbars at your end of the Valley....I'm not going to worry about keeping up with the laundry or the dust bunnies because when the end comes who is going to be here to look in the laundry basket and under the piano?

Sending love your way.

Red said...

Pleased to see that chemo and the fall down the stairs (ouch) haven't affected your sense of humour!

I am a big supporter of breakfast (the most important meal of the day blah blah blah), so I would definitely urge you to have something within half an hour of waking up, even if it's only sweet tea and a biscuit (cookie in your neck of the world?).

It's a matter of habit. Slowly graduate to toast or a bowl of fruit salad... Soon enough, you'll need a full English to operate in the mornings. :)

Take care of yourself and watch your step! xx

Beth L. Gainer said...

I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. I have had bone pain that made me cry -- the result of an aromatase inhibitor.

We all know that time is a limited commodity. Of course, that strange guy telling you the world is going to end is just plain weird.

You write with candor, wit, and energy. I love this posting.

Anonymous said...

Hope you are feeling better and that the pain is lessening.

nbrsspot.blogspot.com said...

hey there.. how are you feeling? I miss you already and i understand you are feeling under the weather with this. Hope all is well and hugs from me and the girls.

Anonymous said...

I had to chuckle when I came across this today. Apparently your gentleman has been getting around!