I've been pulling at my hair for the last 10 minutes.
I'm not even angry.
I was just checking to see if it's falling out yet.
Nope, not yet.
Which is normally a good thing.
Except for I buzz cut it last week in anticipation of it falling out, so now I'm obsessed with hair loss. And even though I was guaranteed that I'd lose my hair with my chemo treatments, what if I'm the small percentage of people that doesn't?
Wouldn't that just suck.
Bald by choice?
But I bought scarves and a wig. I've prepared and I'm ready.
I've made plans to be bald.
What is going on?
What?! Cancer doesn't care about plans?
Right, I knew that already. Ugh.
They said 7-10 days after my first chemo dose, my scalp would feel like it was sunburned, and within a few hours it would basically all fall out.
Today is day 11 after chemo and no sunburned feeling yet.
(Perhaps I should've walked more yesterday, it was a really sunny day)
In the meantime I am going to take *another* shower and this time srub my head vigorously.
15 comments:
Why rush it, baby? Even if it doesn't come out in this round, it probably will in the next. Enjoy your fuzz while it lasts! Your body isn't on a strict timetable - and how it handles chemo isn't either.
Hey Babe! I was actually 2 weeks to the day before I noticed my hair loss. It started to tingle and then I noticed I could pull strands...and then clumps...and then it started to go. But it certainly didn't fall out all at once. Some people just thin. I noticed after my head was shaved that my stubble fell out on the perimeter of my head leaving me with a hair yamaka! HILARIOUS!! It eventually fell out too. And then when it grew back in, the last part to grow was my hair yamaka...which made me look like I was going to have male pattern balding - yikes! And it was gray too!! And then it eventually all grew in and the dark hair took over and the gray mostly disappeared. Isn't it funny how hair obsessed we get? But at the end of the day, it's just hair!
Have fun lint rolling in the days ahead!!
xo Dana
Sayre - Good point. Not really trying to rush it, (well I guess that's exactly what I'm doing, isn't it?) but I'm just puzzled by the whole thing. You gotta remember I'm not getting out much these days, so entertainment is limited :) Pulling on my hair is what I do for fun, haha.
Dana - Crap. I still haven't bought a lint brush. That's what I forgot to do. I still gotta get one, good thing that I seem to still have time, right? So, I am totally picturing you with the yamaka hair, hilarious!!
...and THIS is your biggest problem today??
:)
How wonderful!!
Eileen
Eileen - yes it is, isn't life grand? lol
Michelle,
When mine really started falling out, I went outside, brushed it and watched it blow away. It must have been quite a sight! Hair loss makes us crazy on so many levels.
Nancy - well I hope it's a windy day when mine falls out, that sounds like fun (and a neat way to scare the new neighbors)
Murphy's Law of Cancer?! I can appreciate that being annoying when you were being proactive...
Thank you for the comments on my blog posts! I was gone all weekend on an awesome church retreat and am now trying to play "catch up" with my life. As usual my life is over programmed and there are never enough hours in the day it seems...But I wanted to stop by and say hi and let you know you continue be in my thoughts and prayers.
One of the women who shared her story on the retreat is a breast cancer survivor. I thought of you many times this weekend when I interacted with her. I even told her about you and she said she would pray for you too. Anyway, I also wanted to share that with you.
I am super tired and need to go to bed. I hope that you continue to find that the "side effects" of chemo aren't as bad (at least in some instances) as you expected! Though I get that in this instance it is confusing.(((HUGS)))
I have debated about shaving my head in preperation for chemo, but I think I am going to hold off. I have pretty thick hair, maybe there is a chance it will just get thinner. After I had my last baby it thinned out quite a bit, and hasn't totally come back in over five years, so who knows what will happen. I told my husband to keep the Roto-Rooter guy's number on speed dial just in case...
Kathy - Lol, maybe it IS murphy's law, can you imagine? But no, I think i'm just being impatient, I don't know of anyone who hasn't lost their hair on my type of chemo... so I am pretty confident I will lose it too it's probably just a matter of days. No matter, I'm getting quite used to the wig now.
Tuesday - Maybe just hold off, you could have weeks left with hair, when is your first chemo? Some people don't lose it right away, but somewhere between the first and second chemo it's supposed to fall out.
Relax. Who says side effects have to be on a time schedule? You've prepared and taken control, that's the important part. If it takes longer to fall out, so be it. If it never falls out, then take comfort in one small gift in this whole thing that worked out in your favor and enjoy it growing back in. Also, just because it doesn't fall out after the first chemo, doesn't mean it won't fall out after the second. Stay prepared and take it as it comes.
Michelle, mine didn't come out at all until my second treatment, so you may be in for a wait yet! :)
Checking to see if a few stray hairs have fallen out during the night. My head was kind of sore before I lost my hair. For me, the falling out wasn't the weird part, but the growing back was. I always had curly hair--and longed to have straight hair--and wouldn't you know it grew back straight and now I miss the curly stuff! Go figure!!
Stay well as your go through chemo.
Brenda
Ugh. Its always the anticipation of everything that is so so so stressful. I hope its a windy day too - it does sound fun.
i did the same thing! yanking at my hair until it finally started to give...three weeks after chemo:) you know what? i got so tired of looking like a hacked up barbie doll that i hopped in the shower, grabbed a washcloth and some conditioner and scrubbed until it came out (seriously, not painful, though it sounds so). then i used a lint brush for the last little bit (sounds strange but my doctor was the one who suggested it!). it's so amazing that you are in such ease with your situation that you are wishing out the hair. you know what? you are SO SO SO kicking butt girl:) amazing!
p.s. i wonder if you'll love the smooth baldness as much as i did, so SOFT! xoxo
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