Tuesday, March 15, 2011

It's tomorrow!

Just wanted to say I'm on my way to chemo tomorrow at 10am.

I am scared, apprehensive, fearful, and frightened.

There might be a pattern in my emotions.

Ya think?

I hope I do well, I don't get sick right away and I hope it doesn't hurt.

Wish me luck.

16 comments:

Sayre said...

Good luck, dear girl! I was wondering if the kids being sick would set things back a bit. I suppose it's good that they're moving forward.

Scared, Apprehensive, Fearful and Frightened (SAFF) sounds about right, but you are also Strong, Able, Formidable and Fierce (SAFF). You can choose which SAFF you will be. I'm betting on the second. You have been through a lot and you will go through a lot - but you have much to live for and you will do what needs to be done.

Be FIERCE, woman!

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Best of luck!!!! Hope all your endorphins are in full swing and you breeze through this in high spirits. If not, do they let you get drunk before beginning chemo? You never know.

Knock knock - it's cancer! said...

Sayre - You are so kind. I hope I can be the second SAFF for sure. Yeah, kids are still sick (the other 2 are now getting sick... but it seems to be just the kids for now, thank goodness) They said we're going full steam ahead anyway.

VV - LOl . I don't think I can get drunk. In fact, I am supposed to stay away from alcohol throughout all my chemo treatment. Perhaps all the extra drugs I have to take will do the trick though, ya think?

McCrackens Mom said...

Good luck Michelle. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. The anticipation of things is no fun is it? One day I will come down and cheer for you as you go in. Tomorrow is not the day as it's your first.

Be strong hon. Talk to you soon.

pinkunderbelly said...

Whew, so glad to hear from you (and thx for commenting on my blog): I was starting to worry about you. Don't you worry, you're gonna do just fine w chemo. You are fierce, and that chemo cocktail is too. It's your weapon. It allows you to be the aggressor against this damned disease. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending lots of good vibes your way.

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear that you are starting your treatment - hooray! Just think, tomorrow at this time you will have one under your belt and be another step closer to completion :) It is going to be a-ok Michelle. No worries...that's like praying for something you don't want! You will be a superstar!!!!! Be sure to drink lots of water and be ready for some lovely long naps during treatment...and don't be embarassed if you snore in front of everyone! I have been known to saw lots of logs in the chemo lab - haha. Wear cozy comfy yoga clothes, and bring crappy celebrity magazines that don't require reading, and some treats to nibble on (I always enjoyed the Starbucks cheese, cracker and grapes tray with a yummy chai latte - overpriced but lovely to indulge) Oh, and just wait til they wrap you up in the warm flannel blankets...mmmm...all of this will make you feel better. You can do it!

And please try to "chemo call" me if you are up for a chat (hehe) I am always happy to hear from you :)

Viva La Cure Sista!!!!

xo Dana

PS - I will be at my cancer clinic meeting with my oncologist tomorrow too - my 1st 3-month check-up, complete with bloodwork and laying out our plan to keep me clean and cancer-free baby! Will be thinking of you when my port gets tapped :) Big hugs to you, my friend!!

Kathy said...

GOOD LUCK MICHELLE!!! :-)

Sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way. I can only imagine the mix of emotions you are feeling tonight on this eve of your first experience with chemo.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!! SO PROUD OF YOU!!! XOXO

Mandi - www.DarnGoodLemonade.com said...

I felt the same! The unknown is so scary, but it will be easier. I got nerves the first and second time (won't be surprised if I get them the third too ;)). I hope you got my email!

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I heard your story from a mutual friend (Connie). I want to wish you well tomorrow. I know it is scary - probably because the "unknown" has got to be the scariest thing...I've had six sessions of chemo, and still go in for Herceptin. The very first time I went in for chemo, I promised myself beforehand that I would NOT be scared. This poison that is going to be running through your body is what is going to be saving your life - you are going to survive this chemo, and you are going to be surviving this cancer. Take your anti nausea pills - they do help! Please feel free to contact me - Connie has my email address. Don't be scared - think of it as a huge step in winning this battle!! You WILL be fine. A friend gave me some advice - when the chemo is going into your body, close your eyes, and invision tiny scrub brushes scouring the cancer away...mind over matter, and it works! Hang in there and I'm sending you a hug!
Shonna

Genkicat said...

Good Luck Michelle! I just read your last post and I am sooooo happy you are back, and sooooooo sorry you had to go through that. Unreal.

Take care. One more step.

Anonymous said...

Luuuuuuuckkkkkk! You've been through so much already, the chemo just *has* to run smoothly.

It. Just. Has. To.

Gentle bear hugs. xx

Red

nancyspoint said...

Hello, I just read your last post and this one. They bring tears to my eyes as I envision what you are going through. I remember it all so well. The day I learned I needed chemo was one of the worst, if not THE worst day of my life. Later, I discovered chemo wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be, but it still was horrendous. Anyway, good luck with yours. I invite you to visit Nancy's Point when you feel up to it. I'm just another person who understands...

Connie said...

Thinking about you today Michelle! Stay strong!

Tammy said...

praying for you michelle that all will go smoothly and you won't be sick....

Sue said...

Hi - I have been following your blog for a couple of weeks now - you're a great writer!

I'm nearly 1 year out from my last chemo. I remember well the anxiety I felt about my first infusion. I took an Ativan before every tx, it totally calmed me down and between that and the IV Benadryl, I slept through the whole thing each time. I can't help but thing treatments will be smoother if I'm not anxious. Good luck with everything, and keep posting!

Sayre said...

Thinking of you today, Michelle. I hope it all went well!